Tuesday, March 1, 2011

A Cat Person's Guide To Doing Laundry

When I first moved away from my parents' house, I was shocked to find that there were people out there who had never done their own laundry. I initiated many roommates in the artform of properly cleaning clothes.

Before you can do laundry, you must be able to get to the washer.
Then I got a cat and we had to start the lessons all over again. You see, doing laundry with cats in the house is a whole different ball game.

Step 1: Remove the cat from the top of the washer and open the lid. Check the washer drum for foreign objects such as cat toys (living or dead), stray socks and random pieces of string.

Always make sure to check the appliance before turning it on.
Step 2: Gather the laundry to be washed. Sort through it carefully for cat toys, dead animals, live animals, buried cats and missing electronics such as iPods and cell phones.

Step 3: Remove the cat from the washer.

Foreign objects - living and dead - are commonplace in cat households
Step 4: Put the washer on the proper setting and turn it on. Check the drum again for foreign objects. Scream like a little girl when you find a mouse doing a little dog paddle in the water. Scoop it out and add the laundry soap.

Step 5: Add the clothes to the washer and close the lid.

Step 6: When the washer finishes, open the dryer and remove any random objects such as cat toys, stray socks and cats.
Dryers are warm. Cats love warm. Therefore cats love dryers.

Step 7: Load the wet clothes into dryer.

Step 8: Remove the cat from the dryer and add a dryer sheet. Shut the door, then open it again and sort through the wet laundry to ensure that you have, in fact, removed all the cats.

A dryer is a "magic fingers" for cats.
Step 9: Set the dryer on the proper cycle and turn it on. Lift the Fat Brown Cat to the top of the dryer so she can enjoy the warm "Magic Fingers" sensation while the appliance runs.

Check dryer. Remove cat. Repeat as needed.
Step 10: When the dryer stops, check the clothes to see if they are still damp. If they are, remove the cat from dryer, close the door and reset the dryer.

Step 11: When the clothes are dry, empty them into a laundry basket. Remove the cat from the dryer - again - and shut the door.
Cats are efficient. They know the best time to get hair all over your work clothes is before you hang them up.

Step 10: Neatly lay out the clothes to be hung up, then go get some hangers. Remove the cat from the clothes, brush off most of the cat hair and hang up the clothes.

Each cat should have his or her own pile of laundry to "fuzz."
Step 11: Fold the laundry by colors, making sure there is a pile that matches each cat. They like to be color coordinated.

A pile of clean socks is kitty heaven.
Step 12: Do not fold the socks. Leave them loose in the bottom of a laundry basket so the cats have somewhere soft to snuggle.

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